Welcome to Live-Action South Park

i wasn’t expecting to write again so soon, especially not about the same topic as the last post, or at least a related one. i’m not even sure if this will end up being the next post i publish, but i'm writing this right after finishing "ducky and vladi."

and man, what a missed opportunity. i can’t believe it.

as a matter of fact, i had ‘ducky and vladi’ pretty much written on may 29th. i don’t really have an explanation for why i waited to publish it, but i did. and, of course, because the universe was in a silly, goofy mood, just hours after i finally hit ‘post,’ the drama i was waiting for kicked off. elon "i'm so important" musk and donald "make america greatly entertaining again" trump had their first public clash, the peak of what will hopefully be many more to come.

elons tweet (deleted by now)

elon tweeted: "@realdonaldtrump is in the epstein files. that’s the real reason they weren’t released. have a nice day, djt."

this came after musk got vocal about some "big beautiful bill" or some shit. and since he's the DOGE, he apparently felt overruled. (that’s his story, anyway. the bill also meant big cuts for tesla, since they had relied on buying "electric licenses" from manufacturers that didn't use them, and the BBB would have put a stop to that.)

let me assure you, this isn't fan fiction this time. that’s apparently the real situation: they have a bill abbreviated like a porn category, and musk is the DOGE minister. as a counter-punch, trump called elon crazy ("has lost his mind") and said something about him being "dry" or whatever. musk then fired back, claiming he was the reason donald won the election in the first place, and shortly after, he dropped that epstein tweet.

one could conclude that the epstein mentions are just the result of a slowly but surely escalating war of the roses. but that would be too logical, don’t you think? it’s too rational, and it just doesn’t fit the sheer absurdity of everything else. and if i know one thing, it’s that donald trump isn’t rational. the only person possibly less rational than trump? correct. musk.

this is also an extra punch from elon. his "i won you the election" sucker punch was immediately followed by the epstein low blow. that’s atypical. it's far more likely and by that, i mean so unlikely it becomes likely again in this context, that elon musk read my blog post and, in his ketamine-hazed brain, thought, "shit, i have to use this now before someone finds it on this blog."

this has been another captivating episode of beyond belief: fact or fiction, hosted by chris. we live in a world where the real and the unreal live side by side, where substance is disguised as illusion, and the only explanations are unexplainable. can you separate truth from fantasy? to do so, you must break through the web of your experience and open your mind to things beyond belief.

(side note): i read that bill gates donated 99% of his fortune to some country in africa. i don't know if it's just me, but in my mind, this has been a known fact for quite some time. i think he said something similar back when he was still the richest person in the world. has anyone paid attention to how many times he’s promised to donate 99% of his fortune? how does that even work? does the first country mentioned get 99%, and the next one gets 99% of the remainder? (99% of that remaining 1% doesn't sound like much, but fun fact: it's still about $1.16 billion).

but for real, how often has he said this? i guess it stays under the radar. people who already know he's going to donate 99% won't read the new articles, thinking, "fuck this news, they wrote about that five years ago." and the people who don't know read it and think, "wow, what a philanthropist," and that's it. sometimes they encounter each other and argue about which country is getting the money, find both news articles, blame fake news, and go have a beer.

i didn't pay much attention to all that, though, because the election campaign was going on, and trump said some fucked-up racist shit in front of thousands of people. at that point, i kind of lost the entertainment factor. it got worse during that televised "fight" where they were allowed to answer questions. on every question, trump had the last word. every time they told him not to, he did it anyway. and every time kamala tried to do the same, trump and the host shut her down. it was so insane i thought i was watching an snl sketch.

after my somewhat longer hiatus from all this, i "came back" and have to say, yeah, it’s cool they’re trying a live-action south park, but why are they showing it while it’s still in production?

seriously, i had no idea what was going on, but apparently, they did some kind of teleshopping segment for tesla in front of the white house. elon gave trump a small note with all the data and prices. hello? what is going on? all that was missing was the phone number on screen and a scrolling banner saying, "limited stock available, call now, operators are standing by, current queue time is 5 minutes."

those prices…as transparent as Trumps tanning lotion

$8000 for self-driving

if car lives 20 years, that would be 400 per year.

if you pick the subscription, that’s $1188 per year.

so if you are going to by a tesla. go for the subscription, if you buy a tesla in the first place, would be odd to suddenly go for the reasonable option

and so many missed opportunities. imagine a tesla in the exact orange color as donald trump, but with gaps in the paint around the mirrors and wheel arches, and of course, under the headlights. i mean, that should still be possible now as a form of ridicule. and isn't there already a tesla on its way to mars? let's send a trump-tesla toward jupiter, equip it with the most durable cameras we have, and get some cool pictures of jupiters atmosphere while the car gets crushed as hard as tsla stock crashed.

in preparation for this post, i did a little research regarding those epstein papers, since my memory was a bit hazy. i thought donald was using his presidential right to keep them secret, citing national security and all that shit. but it turns out, a court is apparently working through those files—all 11,000 pages of them.

it's so stupid that we have no technical advancements that could help with such a tedious task. is it insane for me to think that this would be an awesome chance for ai to shine? if that court has been working on this for several years, it must be impacting their normal operations, since i doubt only one person is assigned to it. and even if it were just one person, they should be done by now. a recent veritasium video mentioned a lawyer who had to inspect a full room of papers related to a chemical company. he did it and found the evidence.

so why is this taking so long? and if the timeline is somehow reasonable, then please, sam altman or whichever other fucker is in charge, i don't care. help them with ai. it's a win-win-win. ai gets good press for helping uncover a crime, the public finally gets the truth, and people get at least some feeling of transparency.

and even if donald trump plays his trump card and claims it's a danger to national security, they should just black out all the names except for his. that would make his argument worthless and contradictory. i think a lunatic who may or may not have been actively engaging in sexual acts with minors, and who wants to keep that secret, is just a little bit more dangerous for "national security" than revealing his name alone.

yeah, i can see trump trying to take some people down with him by revealing their names too, but still, how would that endanger national security in any way, shape, or form? are they afraid of a second january 6th? that event is already public knowledge, and nothing is being done about its injustice anyway. and so what if the maga crowd rushes the capitol again? it would be on the government if civilians were able to cause anything close to a repeat of that day. it would highlight their inability to learn from past mistakes. if anything, a failed attempt would be in their favor, proving their defense is competent.

It may be due to my social bubble, but I feel like the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard trial was a way bigger topic, at least in the news. And the reason for it was like a fart compared to the hurricane that is this whole situation with Trump and Musk.